Manchester United Fury At Nike

Wunter Under Meijer can report that Manchester United are considering taking legal action against Nike after their 2-1 defeat at Anfield.

Manchester United had apparently been promised some innovative design augments to their shorts, however when the players took to the field they were wearing their standard apparel.

That wasn't the worst news for Alex Ferguson's men though; to make matters worse, some Liverpool players took to the field with the design augments that United had been promised; Adidas had fitted Javier Mascherano's shorts with a giant pocket in which he was able to keep almost the entire Manchester United midfield for large portions of the match. Debutant Albert Riera was also sporting a pocket into which he placed Wes Brown for the entire time he was on the pitch, with Jamie Carragher achieving similar success with Dimitar Berbatov in his pocket.

The most spectacular shorts, however, were handed to Fabio Aurelio, who sported a large kangaroo-like pouch on the front of his shorts into which he just about squeezed the sizeable Wayne Rooney.

''I have to admit that I wasn't very mobile; Wayne's a heavy player to carry around all match. However, I had a few packets of Pork Scratchings with me and I just threw a few morsels into the pouch whenever Wayne got restless. We actually formed quite a bond in the time we spent together.''

They weren't the only ones; there were reports that the Liverpool sqaud had to stage an intervention after Xabi Alonso managed to sneak Paul Scholes out of the stadium after the match. A number of players accompanied Rafa Benitez to the Spanish midfielder's house, eventually persuading Alonso to free a tired and cranky Scholes from his pocket.

Neither United or Nike were willing to comment on the issue, although Sir Alex Ferguson has told close associates that he wants action taken.

''Issa furgle wanna fesh un a salla disgrace jurrfta hellash graggle a wuz da hargle pusha, [hic], unna dreggle asha dooo. Ya Knoooooow?'', said Ferguson to our insider.

More on this story as it breaks.

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